Fake Orgasms: Why They’re Never As Good As The Real Thing

20 Oct

Why in the world would anyone want to fake an orgasm? Are you trying to win an Academy Award from the bedroom? Doubtful. Some do it to get out of a bad sex session, think that it will please their partner, don’t want to hurt their partners’ feelings, or maybe the orgasm just wasn’t going to happen. You may think that it’s no big deal and that there isn’t any harm in doing so, but by perpetuating the lie, you are doing more harm than good. So if you’ve ever faked an orgasm, I’m here to tell you stop it!

When you fake an orgasm, you are telling your partner that what they are doing to you feels good. Odds are that they will remember what you “liked” the last time and pull that out of their bag of tricks the next time you decide to get down. If you don’t like the kind of magic they are wielding, you need to stop reinforcing them with your fake orgasms.

Do you have a tried and true tested move that you use on all of the ladies? Before you start to pat yourself on the back for the puddle like state that you always leave your partner in, consider that it may have been a performance. Everyone is not alike. What works for one person may not necessarily be the same for someone else. I imagine many of you are thinking “no one has ever faked an orgasm with me”, but I warn you to tread cautiously.

Aside from the porn-worthy moaning, what other cues let you know that she experienced an orgasm? Did her pupils dilate? Was a sex flush present? Did her nipples become erect? Was her pulse elevated? Could you feel her involuntary muscle contractions? Was she out of breath? Just some things to consider next time you think you’ve left your woman in ecstasy.

Ladies, I imagine many of you are not faking these orgasms out of malice and stroking you partners ego is always a plus, but don’t do it by being inauthentic in the bedroom. I’m not saying that you need to confess your fakes in the past, but consider talking to your partner about what you really like. Communication is the key to a better sex life. Speak up when things aren’t feeling the way you’d like. Better yet, show them where and how you like to be touched. Maybe you’ve had a lot to drink or you’re riding that plateau and just can’t get over and orgasm. That is fine too, as long as you let your partner know where you’re at. And where is the rule that says you must have an orgasm or else the job isn’t done? You don’t have to have an orgasm every time, it is perfectly OK not to.

No one wins when one person is staring up at the ceiling waiting for their partner to be done and the other is so desperately trying to please the other. Check in with your partner, be communicative, and above all, have fun. Sex is not supposed to be work, so stop with the acting and start with the enjoying.

Men don’t think that you’re off the hook. You also are guilty of faking orgasms for many of the same reasons, and others too, but that is another article. Happy Sex! And as always, everything is OK here.

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