Archive | November, 2011

5 Tips for Sexcess!

18 Nov

So you want to get it on huh? Is your play space a sexy sanctuary or a cluttered cave? Free the room up from all of the things that distract you from getting it on. Get rid of that unfolded laundry in the corner. Move those dog-eared magazines and books. Close your laptop. Turn off the TV. Turn your cell phone off, and off does not mean vibrate. Once you’ve set the scene, I have 5 bedroom essentials that you should always keep near, because nothing is worse than doing a naked scavenger hunt around the house for a needed item! Especially if you have room mates, haha.


It is a super essential. Have you ever heard the saying “wetter is better?” Everyone can use lube anytime they have sex. It helps you ease in and makes both parties more comfortable. It’s also great to keep handy because if you’re going hard, a woman’s natural lubrication cannot keep up with marathon sessions, so lube it up. Water-based lubricants are latex condom friendly but avoid using oil based ones because they will break down the integrity of latex. If your water based lubricant is starting to dry out, just add a little saliva to it and it should reactivate its slippery goodness. Silicone based lubricant is fairly new and  has the ability to last longer than water based lube and it is latex friendly as well! It’s also great for anal play.


So you’re about to have sex, its go time, you’re ready, you’re partner is ready, and you can’t find a condom. Insert buzz kill. Keep them handy in a side table, drawer, or brazenly in a bowl next to your bed. Because when the time comes, you want to be ready. And also, unless you are in a fluid bonded relationship, I would highly recommend using a condom every time you engage in sexual activity. The peace of mind from reducing your risk to STI’s and pregnancy is enough to warrant the minor drawbacks that some say condoms bring. Don’t let a thin thin thin piece of latex be the reason that stops you from protecting yourself because “it doesn’t feel as good.” You’re getting sex right? Be happy about that! For an added sensation, add drop of lube into the tip of the condom before you put it on. Maybe ask your partner to put it on with their mouth. How erotic is that?


This may sound silly, because you’re probably thinking that you’ve got towels in the bathroom, but again, this is about not having to break the scene and doing the naked scavenger hunt. Sex can be messy from sweat and other fluids. Don’t go for that wrinkly old shirt next to your bed! I do NOT want to be wiped off with your stale workout shirt. This also is a perfect avenue to show your tender side in doing a little aftercare for your partner.

Moist Wipes 

Not trying to sound redundant because I had previously mentioned towels, but there is only so much clean up a dry towel can give. Some bodily fluids, lubes, and other substances can only be cleaned up with the combined wetness and towel like qualities of a moist wipe. Nothing is worse than having some crusty residue left on your skin. Don’t go to bed sticky because no one wants to wake up with an unintentional superman cape. I’d recommend using the unscented variety.


You wouldn’t go workout without some form of hydration right? Sex is a workout too, so treat it like one! During bouts of passion, you are burning tons of calories and losing much of your water through sweat. Help replenish your dehydrated cells by drinking water before, during, and after your sexual activities. This is especially important if you are looking for extended hours of play because if you are dehydrated you will tire more easily. Besides keeping you hydrated, it’s a great thing to have near just to swish around the mouth to rid you of any errant tastes you may have in there.

Hope you’ve found a new appreciation for keeping these everyday items near, and as always, everything is OK here.

Not A Job You Saw On Career Day: Sexologist, Part 1

3 Nov

While many of us heard nursery rhymes about the butcher, the baker, and the candle stick maker, we never heard about the sexologist. Perhaps it was too hard to rhyme with? Either way, it’s a real job. In fact it, it is a job that is on the rise, and in my opinion, for the better. Here is how I got to where I am today.

My story began in middle school. I was always that friend you could go to for your sexual or relationship concerns. Inappropriate? Pervert? Slut? Maybe for some, but either way, I was motivated. Mind you, all of us were learning and discovering new things for ourselves, but I was always the one reading up on what was going on “down there”. I remember going to the book store with my mom and sneakily walking into the “relationship” section of the store, ONLY when no one else was in the aisle, as if I’d be caught in that section! As soon as someone walked by or turned down that way, I quickly did a 180 and pretended to peruse the exercise and fitness books. Lucky save on the layout!

I credit my mom with my invaluable and early love of reading. I recall many memories of sitting on her lap listening to her read to me and my love of the knowledge that books imparted. Of course those books mostly led me to believe that animals talked and much of life would end happily ever after. None the less, I became a book-o-phile. I developed the ability to not only read quickly, but retain the information I had just read.

Fast forward to high school. I always had a knack for science, mainly biology. Incidentally, the only AP class I passed was AP Biology. For those who may not know, AP courses are set at an advanced pace and allow you to potentially gain college credit while still in high school bearing you pass their comprehensive exam. When it came time to apply for college I chose Grand Valley State University. It was close to home, had a great reputation for the sciences, and gave me college credit for my passed AP exams. I was in.

Lofty dreams had me set on the Pre-Med path, but unbeknownst to me, chemistry would be my downfall, or actually the catalyst to make me search for something more. I sucked at chemistry. It was embarrassing. It was the reason that I knew I wasn’t going to be able to pursue a medical degree. Cue depression and dashed dreams. Where was I to head? What was I going to do with a biology degree? Work for the DNR? Pass. Where could I use my knowledge of how life works, evolution, and behavior? It only took one trip to the grocery store to make me realize where my true talents laid, sex.

Next time you are in the grocery store, casually look at what all of the glossy magazines that are so strategically placed in the stands are telling you. Almost every magazine has something pertaining to sex. Whether it is 5 secrets to help you blow your man’s mind, or 10 new ways to feel better about yourself, it is all about sex.

I graduated with my bachelors in biology and immediately started my studies to become a sexologist. I went to one of the few graduate schools in the country that grants advanced degrees in the study of human sexuality and I’ve never looked back. I want to make my adventure of grad school and how I became a sexologist another post so please stand by. I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into what spurred me onto pursuing my degree of choice and as always, everything is OK here.