Grand Rapids Area Adult Stores: A Review

22 Dec

While going to school in San Francisco, I had the privilege of shopping at the fantastic Good Vibrations store. Founded on education and quality, Good Vibes is much more than your average adult retailer. The entire staff is knowledgeable and well versed on all aspects of sexuality. They offer classes and workshops to help educate the community.

Upon returning home to conservative West Michigan, I was bound and determined to visit all of the adult stores in town to see what kind of atmosphere, education, and products were being offered. And what I found was shocking. We’ve got a long way to go Grand Rapids…

I asked two questions at each location:

-Do you offer classes or workshops?

-Do you have a business card?


Stop #1 – Adult XXX Superstore

2007 S. Division Ave

Absolutely disgusting. Besides not having a discernable sign outside, let alone on the door, the interior left much to be desired. As soon as I walked in, I was greeted with many shades of outdated linoleum and dirty carpet. It smelled of stale smoke, was dusty, and had horrible lighting. The toy selection was abysmal and I questioned the age of condoms on display. When I inquired about classes or workshops, the worker told me no. She went on to assure me that children learned all they needed to know in school these days. Her son recently had sex education. I asked her if it was comprehensive sex education and she said yes it was. That’s where he learned CPR. Umm what?! I left soon after that and sanitized my hands when I got back to the car. I would NEVER recommend going to this “store.” Oh, and a business card? No.


Stop #2 – The Velvet Touch

845 28th St.

This store had a shifty exterior and was not very inviting. Once again I was greeted with the scent of stale smoke and dust. This store had a sparse selection of exotic dance attire and many novelty toys. DVD’s were displayed behind Plexiglas with cutouts large enough for your hand to go through but not large enough to extract the video. They had a small collection of lubes, some with brands I’d never heard of, and condoms by the register. I asked the worker if they offer classes or workshops and he seemed shocked at first, but then replied no. He seemed mystified that there could ever be a need for classes. And as far as a business card, no. I wouldn’t recommend this store because there are far better options to patronize,


Stop #3 – Cirilla’s

3835 28th Street, SE, Suite 100

Oh happy day! Upon entering the store, I was greeted by a well lit, organized, clean smelling store! The store was very inviting and I didn’t have the feeling of not wanting to touch anything for fear of catching something. They had a wide array of exotic dance wear, DVDs, toys, and novelty items. Also what impressed me was a free safe sex pamphlet by the register. It was the only one I had seen on the field trip. This is the ONLY store I would recommend in Grand Rapids. I asked the worker if they offered classes or workshops and she said they currently did not. But, they did have a business card!


Stop #4 – Classic Lingerie & Video

427 Bridge St. NW

Not in a very good location, nor was there a very good sign. The store smelled very strongly of incense and the lighting was OK. They had a huge selection of DVDs in the back and a modest toy display up front and there was an extensive lubrication display with some mainstream brands. I asked the worker if they offered classes or workshops and he said no. He did comment that it would be a good idea if someone offered them somewhere. I concurred. He offered me a business card when I asked. This store is alright, but the selection is very limited.


Stop #5 – Erica’s Erotic Accessories

234 Market Ave. SW

This store was very clean and well lit, but because of the expanse of the room, it looked a little sparse. They had a wide selection of DVDs and a modest display of toys. They seemed mostly for novelty use. This store also shared its floor space with many glass pipes and bongs. I asked the worker if they offered classes or workshops and she said no. She felt that there was no need because all of the customers at the store already knew about safe sex. I didn’t follow her logic. When I asked for a business card, she said that they don’t have them. This store is alright, but you’d be better off going elsewhere for a wider selection.

Hopefully this insider information has been beneficial and you now know, if you didn’t already, that Cirilla’s is the premiere adult retailer in our area. Happy shopping, and when it comes to sex, everything is OK here.

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One Response to “Grand Rapids Area Adult Stores: A Review”

  1. adult toys November 16, 2012 at 8:20 am #

    Good post about Grand Rapids Area Adult I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your posts. I’ll be subscribing and visiting often.

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