Backdoor Basics: Beginning Butt Pleasure

3 Jun

For some, the prospect of anal sex is very taboo. But for those who want to break through the stigma and revel in the pleasure, anal play can be super hot. Both men and woman can enjoy in anal pleasure. Yes, you too men. *(Just because you like anal play, it doesn’t make you gay. How you enjoy pleasure does not define your sexual orientation.)  The anus is a hot bed of nerve endings that result in an often overlooked erogenous zone.  So if you’re still with me, and want some must know butt basics, read on fellow sexual explorer.

Anytime I ask someone about anal play and they tell me they would never do it, the number one reason is because “that is where poop comes out of.” Yes, you’re not wrong, but in a healthy person, the rectum is merely temporary storage of feces. There shouldn’t be any remnants left over. If you’re still concerned, you are welcome to use an enema.

As with any new sexual activity, you have to be in the right mindset. Nervousness and apprehension are common. Take some time to relax your mind and body with some deep breaths. Check in with your anus. Are you clenching? Make a conscious effort to relax and really get in touch with your body.

GRAB THE LUBE! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not naturally lubricate. Lube makes everything more comfortable and can help avoid injury. That being said, do not use numbing lubricants. It sounds like that would be the way to go, but unfortunately it can end in disaster. Because you cannot discern pain, you can get hurt (think rectal tearing and bleeding. Not fun or sexy). Pain is your body’s way of letting you know to slow down. If you’re doing it right, it shouldn’t hurt. Try a silicone lube for anal play or a specially formulated lubricant for back door pleasure like Wet Lubricant’s Uranus. Also, if you are going from anal to vaginal sex, make sure you change the condom!

Anal play isn’t something you just jump into. Make sure you take plenty of time for foreplay and to get aroused. And don’t feel like you need to lead with penis first. Start small. Use a finger or a small toy (base required). Experiment with different pressures and strokes and see what is right for you and your partner. A helpful hint which seems counter-intuitive is to bear down. The pushing helps relax your muscles and can help with insertion. Slowly work your way up from there so you can accommodate a penis or a larger toy. You anus is very dynamic. With adequate stimulation, relaxation, and patience, you can fit just about anything in there.

Almost as important as lubrication is communication. This is key. Check in throughout the experience with your partner. This activity can be very invasive to the receiver, so positive reinforcement and encouragement are appreciated. As the receiver, you are always in control. You get to decide how fast or slow the play goes. Be sure to speak up if the stimulation is getting too painful. There are no awards to those who muscle through painful anal.

Anal sex isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again. But if you do like it, more power to you! So if butt play sounds like something you’d be into, grab some lube and have at it! Check back later for my helpful tips to exploring prostate play and remember, when it comes to sex, everything is OK here.

Sexting Do’s And Dont’s

29 May


Sexting is a great way to add spice and fun to your relationship. Thinking about sending off some hot messages to your partner but don’t know where to start? Consider these sexting do’s and don’ts

Don’t show your face!

This is the most important take away tip for you to know! As we have seen with celebrities, politicians, and athletes, having your face accompanied with your sexy bits can be damaging. Save yourself the stress by taking faceless shots. Get close ups of your hot spots instead.

Check that contact.

Make sure that you’re sending your message to the right person. Double check and triple check the name because sending “Mom” instead of “My Love” a seductive message could end in huge embarrassment or unwanted questions.

Text as you would speak.

Don’t send off a steamy message if it isn’t the way you’d talk. If you say, “I’m going to ride you like a pony,” but you never speak like that, your partner could be thrown off. Just be yourself.

Leave something to the imagination.

Just like you wouldn’t want someone to ruin the ending of a good movie, don’t say everything in your texts. The idea from sexting is to build anticipation and desire. A sexpot never reveals all of their secrets.

Know your surroundings.

No one wants to see the toilet or your dirty laundry during your naked selfies. Clean that shit up!


If you’re looking for some inspirations, try starting some sexts off with these lines

“If you were here right now…”

“I’ve got a surprise for you when you get home”

“Whatever you do, don’t think about me doing [insert naughty activity] to you right now”

“I can’t stop thinking about…”

“Guess where I wish your lips were right now”


Make it hot, have fun and be creative.  And remember, that when it comes to sexting, everything is OK here.


What Not To Do: The Condom Challenge

23 Apr

CondomBreakSome of you may not have heard of the “Condom Challenge.” Don’t worry; you are not missing out on much. This is just another stunt for people to do to garner attention on the internet. I’m not even bothering to share a video because I don’t believe that it deserves spreading. Let me tell you how it goes. Someone unrolls a condom, puts the tip into one nostril, snorts it up their nose, and then pulls it from their mouth. Wow! That is some David Copperfield shit!

If you know of a friend who wants to do this “challenge” or has done it, politely ask them to extend one hand and promptly slap it while firmly saying, “NO!” This is stunt is terrible, dangerous, and a waste of a good condom.

This trick comes with a host of risks such as choking, vomiting, or even death. Obviously death is the worst case scenario, but there is still a chance. Good luck explaining why there is a condom stuck in your nasal cavity in the ER.

Here is my “Condom Challenge” – I challenge you to use a condom to have safer sex. To learn more about the condom and how to use it effectively, check out my post, Condom 101.

Ordinarily I say that everything is OK here, and it still is, except for the Condom Challenge. That isn’t OK.

If Your Spunk Is Junk: Tips That May Improve The Taste Of Your Semen

8 Mar


Have you been on the receiving end of a bad load of semen? You are not alone. Many people report that the taste of their partners ejaculate is often bad or even unpalatable. Fear not, you are not destined for terrible tasting love liquid.  While there are no scientific studies that have looked at improving the taste of semen, there is a lot of advice on things you can try to better your flavor. Everyone has their own particular taste. This taste can change over due to a variety of factors

Here are some things that can contribute to a lousy load

Sulfur containing veggies like broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, asparagus and Brussels sprouts

Extra spicy/garlicky food




Red Meat


Try to incorporate these things for a better blend

Fresh fruits like pineapple, melon, mango, papaya

Citrus fruits like lemons, limes, and oranges

Pineapple (the most often recommended trick)



Non-sulfur vegetables

And most importantly water! (flush out those toxins)

Think of this as a real life application of “you are what you eat.” Try out these suggestions and see what, if any, work for you.

Still stuck on the bad taste? Try positioning his penis at the back of your throat when he is climaxing so the ejaculate will avoid most your taste buds. Is that not an option for you either? Remember that swallowing is NOT a requirement for oral sex. Have your man give you the courtesy tap to let you know that he is about to climax so you can move your mouth away before he ejaculates. This way you can completely avoid tasting his brand, but keep stimulating him with your hand during the duration of his orgasm.

Still looking to have the tactile experience of ejaculate but not a fan of the taste? A new product on the market is the Masque Strip. Through years of research, they have developed a strip that dissolves on your tongue and will mask the taste of semen up to 15 minutes. It comes in fun flavors like chocolate, strawberry, watermelon, and mango.

There is no reason that oral sex cannot be enjoyable for both parties.

Happy fellating and remember that when it comes to sex, everything is OK here.

Tips For Buying A Vibrator

11 Jan


Shopping for a vibrator these days couldn’t be easier! The internet hold endless options for you, there are many adult shops all over the country (unless you are Alabama), and now you can even find vibrators in main stream grocery stores. Whether you are looking to buy your first vibrator or are a seasoned professional, here are some things to consider when looking for your latest sex accessory.

Size and Power

Are you looking for something that is compact and discrete or are you looking for something that has all of the bells and whistles? Do you want one that is phallic shaped or something more contemporary? Just like snowflakes, vibrators come in all shapes and sizes. Also, size is not directly correlated with vibration power. If you can, test out the vibration strength and see if it’s right for you. Sexologist tip – try the vibe on the tip of your nose to really get an idea of how it will feel down below.


How does your toy get its buzz? There are many power options for vibrators these days. Some are powered by batteries. Some are rechargeable. Some need to be plugged in, and there are even ones that are solar! Find out which one is right for you. With a corded vibrator, there is not doubt that you will have power, but it may limit your options due to the cord length. Those that are powered by batteries or rechargeable are more mobile, but if you let the battery die down, you may literally have a buzz kill.


Does it sound like you are making a smoothie or is it whisper soft? Different vibrators have different levels of loudness. Again, turn it on and try it out if you can. If sound doesn’t matter to you, the sky is the limit! If you have roommates, children, or don’t want to wake the neighbors, maybe a quieter vibe is for you. Decide what level is right for you so that you don’t get distracted from the task at hand.


What is the vibrator made of? There are lots of materials on the market that are made from low quality rubbers and plastics. Read the box and look for toys that are phthalate free. Phthalates are used in soft plastics and are associated with health risks. Do you want a more realistic skin feeling vibrator, a funky textured feel, or a smooth sleek surface? Different materials come with different types of smells and keep in mind different materials require different cleaning techniques too. Also, will your toy need to be latex compatible? What about lubricants? Oil and silicone can damage the surface of your toy and that isn’t good. Be discerning.


How much are you looking to spend on your sex accessory? There are price points ranging from a few dollars to a few thousand dollars. Keep in mind that price isn’t necessarily an indication of the vibrators quality. Weigh your options on what you want in a toy and see where that lands you on the price continuum.

Below I’ve shared a wide range of vibrators from five of my favorite companies. So now that you know my go-to tips, happy shopping! And when it comes to sex, everything is OK here.

Great Vibes For You

FingO Glow from Screaming O

iVibe Pocket Rocket from Doc Johnson

Vr9 Vanity from Jopen

The Thrill from We-Vibe

Classic Duckie from Big Teaze Toys

2012 In Review

11 Jan

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,800 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 11 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

True or False? Test Your Sexual Intellegence

24 Dec


How is your sexual IQ? Let’s play a little game. Decide which of the following statements are true or false. Answers will be revealed below.

For women, urinating after sex is an old wives tale. It doesn’t provide any benefit.


You can break a penis.


You can get pregnant while on your period.


Erectile issues only affect old men.


You can reuse condoms.

TRUE or False

Let’s see how you scored!

For women, urinating after sex is an old wives tale. It doesn’t provide any benefit.


When you have sex, all of the thrusting can push bacteria into your urethra. Left there, it can lead to a UTI, or urinary tract infection. Urination after intercourse can help flush out the bad bacteria and keep your lady parts happy.

You can break a penis.


Yes, sorry men. A penile fracture is a serious emergency. Now you may be thinking that there is no bone in a human penis, but you can break the tunica albuginea that surround the corpora cavernosa, the spongy erectile tissue that is responsible for making your penis hard. Essentially it is like the worst bruise you can possibly imagine (Google images, you’ll see). This can be caused by blunt force, such as you slipping out of your partner and then missing the hole on your return thrust. Please exercise caution when having vigorous thrusting sex! And if this does happen to you, please seek immediate medical attention.

You can get pregnant while on your period.


On average, a menstrual cycle is 28 days. But as you may know with averages, they don’t always apply to everyone. You usually ovulate two weeks after your period, but for women with a shorter cycle, you may ovulate right after you end your period. You cycle can change and fluctuate and you may have a 28 day cycle one month and then a 32 day cycle the next. Sperm can live as long as a week so that can leave plenty of overlap time for a meeting of sperm and egg.

Erectile issues only affect old men.


Men of any age can experience a wide range of erectile issues such as premature ejaculation or difficulty maintaining an erection. These issues can be caused by a variety of conditions such as being overweight, medical issues, medication, alcohol, anxiety, or anything of the sort. These can be easily helped by consulting your health care professional.

You can reuse condoms


No way! Even if you take it out of the wrapper and start rolling it on the erection and stop because it isn’t the right side up. Technically, there could be sperm in the pre-ejaculate and if you turn the condom “right side up” you could be inserting them into your partner. Male condoms are readily available at health clinics and they are sold in almost every grocery/drug store, so just opt for a box or handful.

How did you score? There are no dumb questions when it comes to sex, so keep asking! With accurate information you can make the best decisions about your sexual health and life. And when it comes to sex, everything is OK here. Be sure to stop by my new website too!