Tag Archives: men

Love Your Breasts

18 Feb

BreastsBreasts are amazing fun! They can be boldly shown off in a sexy low cut top, subtly poke through a soft silk shirt, or simply be fabulous all on their own when you are naked.

Did you know that regardless of bra size, women all have the same amount of nerve endings in their breasts? This means that big or small, you are able to feel the same amount of pleasure. Also, the entire breast is sensitive, not just the nipple. Some women report extra sensitivity around the upper part of the areola.

Did you know that your breasts can grow, and frequently do? Some of you may have experienced swelling during the time around you period. The increase in size is due to the hormonal changes in your body. Your breasts can also grow during arousal. They contain erectile tissue that swell when engorged with blood. These changes are not permanent, but are interesting to note.

Try some of these tips to make your breasts feel loved and get them a piece of the action.

Tease Them

Have a partner use their fingers to apply feather light touches to your skin. The soft touches will be detected by the many nerve endings in the breast tissue and will produce pleasure inducing chills. Have your partner alternate hot and cool breaths blown upon them. See if you can detect the subtleties.

Use a Prop

Try rubbing and ice cube around the areola and nipple of the breast. The cold sensation will be a new experience from an ordinarily warm touch of the hand. Try using a feather, pearls, or anything else that has a unique texture to stimulate them. Feeling a bit kinky? Try using some nipple clamps.

Have a Breastgasm

Some women are actually able to orgasm through breast stimulation alone. Touching, kissing, licking, and sucking the breast can release the pleasure hormone oxytocin. The hormone is often associated with bonding and uterine contractions. Some breastfeeding moms have even experienced an orgasm during a feeding.

Inter-mammary Sex

You may know this activity as ‘titty fucking.’ This is done by pressing the breasts together and having your partner rub their penis in the cleft between your breasts. Small chested women may find this a bit difficult to manage, but an easy variation is to use one breast to stimulate your partner’s penis.

Make Them The Star During Sex

Mounting your partner while they are in an upright position is a great way to make your breasts the center of attention. Your breasts will be at eye level, and better yet, mouth level. Your partner is free to stimulate them with their hands or mouth while you ride them. Spoon-sex is another great position for extra breast attention. While laying on your side, your partner is free to rub, pinch, or massage your breasts. In the missionary position, you have full range of motion with both hands to stimulate your own breasts while putting on a show for your partner.

Don’t forget to show the girls some love the next time you get down. There are countless ways to play with breasts, so relish in all of the new ways you discover! Happy sexing, and as always, everything is OK here.

A Sexologist’s Take on Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson and His Recent Remarks in GQ Magazine

19 Dec

MLBPlayersDuckDynastyEarlier this morning I shared a post, not unlike many other people on Facebook, about Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson and his anti-gay remarks in the upcoming January 2014 issue of GQ Magazine. What followed can only be described as a fiery battle of strong opinions. For those who may not aware of what recently transpired, here is a quick recap of his comments.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

And then later in the article-

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

When I first read the article, I simply thought how disappointing. How disappointing that there are still these views and opinions in the world and how disappointing that they are strongly defended and perpetuated by so many. Robertson’s understanding of homosexual lifestyle is completely lacking. He is a product of his environment and probably has no other experience with sexualities other than his own. Homosexuality is more than just sex. While sex can be a pleasurable supplement to someone’s sexuality, it is also important to note that emotion and attraction just a few of the many other aspects that make up someone’s sexuality. Also, homosexuality is not ‘the gateway drug’ to bestiality or multiple partners.

We live in a heteronormative society and when situations like this arise, I think it is important for all of us to reevaluate what we think we know about sexuality. Stereotypes and misinformation only suppress the LGBT community and we as a society cannot think to move forward if we do not address them. I’m not saying that it wasn’t within Robertson’s rights to say what he did, but it should be no surprise to anyone why A&E has taken action against him. We live in a different time now and it is one that is evolving to be inclusive, accepting, and informed.

World AIDS Day 2013: What We Know and Where We Are Headed

1 Dec

World AIDS Day logo

First reported in 1981 as a rare lung infection, what we now know as AIDS has become a worldwide epidemic. Scientists believe the virus originated from Western Africa. According to recent studies, it is thought that HIV may have jumped from monkeys to humans as far back as the late 1800’s (aids.gov).

A common misconception is that people think you immediately contract AIDS when you are exposed (I will elaborate on exposure below) to someone who had AIDS, but you actually contract HIV.  HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The short version is that this virus infects your body, attacks your T-cells and uses them to replicate themselves and repeat the process. When your T-cell number gets to a certain low threshold, you are diagnosed with AIDS. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome.

HIV is found in blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), breast milk, vaginal fluids, and anal mucous. It can be transmitted by-

  • Sexual Contact
  • Injection Drug Use
  • Pregnancy, Childbirth, & Breast Feeding
  • Blood Transfusion/Organ Transplant
  • Accidental Exposure (i.e. needle stick)

Transmission occurs when there is contact to a mucous membrane, cut, or sore. The most common ways that transmission occurs are through sexual contact (oral, vaginal, anal), sharing needles, or through childbirth.

While HIV/AIDS seems grim, it isn’t a death sentence. There are treatments for HIV/AIDS and many people can live out a relatively normal life. Antiretroviral therapy (‘The Cocktail’) is used to treat HIV. This can help extend your life, lower your chances of developing a non HIV-related illness, and help reduce the chance you will transmit the virus to others. If diagnosed with HIV, it is very important to seek medical attention to get on a treatment plan. Taking the prescribed medications from your health care provider is imperative to keep you healthy as long as possible.

It is very easy to reduce your risk of exposure by knowing your status. Get tested. You have nothing to lose by doing it and everything to gain. In this instance, ignorance is not bliss. You cannot tell by looking at someone if they are infected or not.

Using a barrier is a fantastic way to help prevent contact with fluids that can transmit the virus. Barriers include condoms (male and female) and dental dams. Latex and polyurethane are the best materials for prevention. Lambskin condoms, which are a natural material, have a permeable membrane which impede sperm from crossing because they are too large, but HIV, which is much smaller, and can cross through. Also, it is important to not share needles.

We (the world) have made great progress against the HIV/AIDS epidemic, but there is still much that needs to be done. Prevention is key, but we need to focus on the lessening the stigma that comes with an HIV diagnosis. With advocacy, education, and testing we can hope to reduce the number of new infections. Currently MSM (men who have sex with men, all races and ethnicities) and African Americans are at the highest risk for transmission. The CDC estimates that there are 1.1 million people in the United States who are infected with HIV, and here is the kicker, nearly one in five of those infected are not aware that they are infected.

While this is not as lighthearted as many of my posts, the message is just as important. There is so much more to be said about this epidemic, but I wanted to get the basics out there. My hope is that you will take away the following-

  • Know your status. Get tested
  • Practice safer sex
  • Never share needles
  • Know that HIV is not a death sentence
  • And, education and advocacy can help reduce future transmissions

Resources

World AIDS Day

Planned Parenthood HIV/AIDS Guide

CDC HIV/AIDS Information

NIH AIDS Information

Infographic on HIV/AIDS today in the United States

WorldAidsDayUSSnapshot1 WorldAidsDayUSSnapshot2

The More The Merrier: The Ménage a Trois

19 Nov

Threesome

Having a threesome is a common request among many males, but many women are interested in this activity too. The first thing when considering a threesome is consent. You should never try to force/coerce/bribe/guilt your partner into having a threesome. This is where honesty and communication come in. Make sure that this is something your partner wants to do and if you’ve got consent all around, you’re golden.

Now your next question may be ‘where can I find someone to do this with?’ There are plenty of options you can explore to find a third. Consider a close friend who both and your partner know! The benefit is that you already have a pre-existing relationship. If looking in your friend pool isn’t an option, try some personal sites. Make sure you exercise caution when trying to find someone online. I’d suggest talking to them and agreeing to meet before you ask them to join you in the bedroom. A club is a great place to meet someone too. This is something that you can do with your partner and find someone you both mutually find appealing. And one of the best locations to find someone to add to your play party is at an adult vacation club. Many open-minded couples will be in attendance and you should be able to find some prospects there, if not some great friends.

So now have consent and a third, what is the next step? Now is the time to discuss the rules. This is a very important step in negotiating a threesome. The conversation should include what behavior is ok and what is not. For instance, is on the mouth kissing ok with your third? Is that something that is going to upset your partner. Discuss different acts and ‘what if’ scenarios and get agreement all around before embarking on your sexual adventure.

So now your threesome checklist is complete; consent, a third, and the rules! Now the play can commence! There are many different configurations you can be in when having a threesome, but breaking the ice can be the toughest. I think one of the easiest ways to break the ice is with a triple kiss. It is something light and can let you gauge each partners willingness and from there, you can ease up or go in for more. And all of this advice can go for all sorts of configurations whether it is FMF, MFM, MMM, FFF, foursome, or moresome.

Don’t be afraid to try different things; you won’t be a pro at first. Your body is a sexual playground, so never leave your hands or mouths idle. Have fun playing and when it comes to sex and threesomes, everything is OK here.

Talk Dirty To Me: The Art Of Auditory Seduction

1 Jul

DirtyTalkI really like the saying ‘use your words!’ especially when it comes to sex. Talking dirty, sexy, naughty, nasty, or whatever you want to call it, can be an exciting way to bring your sex play to the next level. You can apply dirty talk before or during your erotic encounter. A few sexy lines whispered to your partner of things to come while you’re out and about will definitely have them racing to get you home. And a few naughty phrases moaned during the act can really make things hot. Hearing positive feedback from your partner can also be a great confidence builder, and the great thing about talking dirty is that there is no wrong way to do it!

It you’re starting from nothing, dip your toes into the dirty talk pool with some simple moans and groans. Give a sigh or have a catch in your breath. Starting to become vocal in the act will make you more comfortable when it comes time to say it with words.

If you’re feeling shy or not sure what to say, just stick to basic phrases. Keep it simple sexy.

“You’re so sexy”

“I love it when you _____ my _____”

“Lick me here”

“That feels so good”

“Touch me in my favorite spot”

“I’m going to _____ your_____”

These simple phrases and more sound super erotic when said into your partner’s ear. Just give a verbal play by play of what is happening. Tell your partner what you’re about to do to them. That will also help keep you present, and your mind on task. Everyone loves compliments, especially in the bedroom!

If you’re looking to up the ante and get down to business, try out these lines.

“Let’s see how many times I can make you come”

“You’re so wet and taste delicious”

“I love the feeling of you in my mouth”

“I’m coming”

“Come on my face”

“You can put in anywhere”

As your confidence builds, you can work in more naughty phrases and words into your repertoire. If you and your partner are comfortable, try some vulgarity! Get nasty with it. Also realize that what goes on in the bedroom does not necessarily translate into real life. For example, your partner might like it when you call them a whore in while in the act, but they may not like being called a whore in public. Talking dirty is something for fun and should never be used maliciously against your partner.

Do you feel like you’re ready to give dirty talking a try? Just remember to be comfortable and yourself. Start off simply by saying what is happening or on your mind, then you can build the heat from there. Don’t worry if you misspeak or think you say the wrong thing, just laugh it off. Sex is supposed to be fun! And remember, when it comes to talking dirty in the bedroom, everything is OK here.

So You Want To Shave Your Pubic Hair?

19 Jun

WomanHoldingTowelCrotch

I often get questions like ‘Should I shave my pubes off?’ or ‘Is bald better?’ And the answer is simple, whatever is right for you! For those of you who want to keep it natural, keep it going, or rather, growing. But, if shaving is the choice for you, don’t just go willy-nilly with sharp objects around such a sensitive region. So whether you’re a shaving novice or an old pro, please consider the following information.

Pre-Trim

If you’re starting from full growth, take the time beforehand to cut your pubic hair short with scissors. This will help reduce the chance of you clogging a razor with excess hair. Remember, this is a pre-trim, you don’t need to get everything and be wary of what is hair and what is skin.

Lube It Up

Never EVER shave without some form of lubrication. At bare minimum use water, but I highly recommend shaving cream. Look for one that is specially formulated for sensitive areas or for your pubic region.

Go With The Flow

Shave with the growth of your hair, especially if this is your first time shaving. If your skin isn’t used to being shaved, going against the grain can cause ingrown hairs. Take your time, this isn’t a race. Nothing is worse than hurrying through a shave and getting a nick on your sensitive parts. Stretch the skin of difficult or hard to reach areas. A mirror can make a great shaving partner.

Exfoliation

After you’re done shaving, lightly exfoliate the area. This will help remove any dead skin cells or anything else that may block your pores and cause ingrown hairs. Ladies, be sure to not get any soap inside of your vagina. Rinse well and then pat dry. You can choose to apply a light moisturizer at this point. I recommend one that is dye and fragrance free.

Fast Tips

  • Pre-trim
  • Use a sharp razor
  • Always use lubrication
  • Take your time
  • Don’t over shave
  • Go with the grain
  • Use a mirror
  • No soap in the vagina
  • Rinse well
  • Moisturize

So whether shaving is an exciting change or part of your personal routine, be safe! And remember, when it comes to shaving and sex, everything is OK here.

Backdoor Basics: Beginning Butt Pleasure

3 Jun

For some, the prospect of anal sex is very taboo. But for those who want to break through the stigma and revel in the pleasure, anal play can be super hot. Both men and woman can enjoy in anal pleasure. Yes, you too men. *(Just because you like anal play, it doesn’t make you gay. How you enjoy pleasure does not define your sexual orientation.)  The anus is a hot bed of nerve endings that result in an often overlooked erogenous zone.  So if you’re still with me, and want some must know butt basics, read on fellow sexual explorer.

Anytime I ask someone about anal play and they tell me they would never do it, the number one reason is because “that is where poop comes out of.” Yes, you’re not wrong, but in a healthy person, the rectum is merely temporary storage of feces. There shouldn’t be any remnants left over. If you’re still concerned, you are welcome to use an enema.

As with any new sexual activity, you have to be in the right mindset. Nervousness and apprehension are common. Take some time to relax your mind and body with some deep breaths. Check in with your anus. Are you clenching? Make a conscious effort to relax and really get in touch with your body.

GRAB THE LUBE! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not naturally lubricate. Lube makes everything more comfortable and can help avoid injury. That being said, do not use numbing lubricants. It sounds like that would be the way to go, but unfortunately it can end in disaster. Because you cannot discern pain, you can get hurt (think rectal tearing and bleeding. Not fun or sexy). Pain is your body’s way of letting you know to slow down. If you’re doing it right, it shouldn’t hurt. Try a silicone lube for anal play or a specially formulated lubricant for back door pleasure like Wet Lubricant’s Uranus. Also, if you are going from anal to vaginal sex, make sure you change the condom!

Anal play isn’t something you just jump into. Make sure you take plenty of time for foreplay and to get aroused. And don’t feel like you need to lead with penis first. Start small. Use a finger or a small toy (base required). Experiment with different pressures and strokes and see what is right for you and your partner. A helpful hint which seems counter-intuitive is to bear down. The pushing helps relax your muscles and can help with insertion. Slowly work your way up from there so you can accommodate a penis or a larger toy. You anus is very dynamic. With adequate stimulation, relaxation, and patience, you can fit just about anything in there.

Almost as important as lubrication is communication. This is key. Check in throughout the experience with your partner. This activity can be very invasive to the receiver, so positive reinforcement and encouragement are appreciated. As the receiver, you are always in control. You get to decide how fast or slow the play goes. Be sure to speak up if the stimulation is getting too painful. There are no awards to those who muscle through painful anal.

Anal sex isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again. But if you do like it, more power to you! So if butt play sounds like something you’d be into, grab some lube and have at it! Check back later for my helpful tips to exploring prostate play and remember, when it comes to sex, everything is OK here.